Thursday, February 17, 2005

Michael Moore: The Waffle Truth

The Onion, America's lowbrow answer to Punch, announces in their recent issue that Ben & Jerry's have named a flavor after Michael Moore - The Waffle Truth.

Various options were considered, including Stupid White Chocolate, Green Tea Nation, and Dude, Where's My Coconut? (As an aside, it is interesting to note that even The Onion prefers the serial comma)

More name options were tossed around in the halls of marketing, such as Cherryheit 9-11 (dropped because they already feature "Cherry Garcia"), Fahreinheit 31.1 (the right temperature to store icecream), and Hefty Lefty

The Onion quotes the creators, saying,
"Michael Moore's David-and-Goliath commentaries cut conservative bigwigs down to size. He follows the beat of his own drummer and works in his own unique way to improve the average American's life. Our choice was a natural - just like our ice cream: We use only fresh milk and cream bought from farmers that have pledged never to use recombinant Bovine Growth Hormone"

According to The Onion, America's source for fair and balanced satire,
The Waffle Truth rollout will include a nationwide tour by the company's promotional ice-cream wagon. The tour will begin its journey in Flint, MI and continue south to distribute free pints of ice-cream in 14 Rust Belt cities suffering from post-industrial decline.

Also, as per The Onion, Sean Hannity calls The Waffle Truth "candy-coated, liberal fluff", which should help sales.

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