Valentine's Day Guide for Fetishists

"Stuff", the men's magazine that is more product placement rag than an opinion mag and less salacious than a men's mag should be, is occasionally interesting. The February issue(not yet online) had two interesting pieces. The first looked at unusual fetishes in a typical manner - the fetishes, almost a sonnet of wierdness, are:

1. Acrotomophiliac - these are people with a yen for amputees

2. Medolaliac - She loves your penis - so just whip it out, lean back and let her deliver a soliloquy

3. Botulinoniac - Meat lovers rejoice - you have nothing to lose but your, umm, bone

4. Dacryphiliac - Seeing you cry gets her all wet

5. Coulrophiliac - Santa Claus-types get this gal hot, so dress up in a multicolored jumpsuit, a red nose and shoes that are eight sizes too big

6. Geronotophiliac - She's only going to jump old bones. so you could be out of luck

7. Arachnephiliac - Spiders are her daddy longlegs - They do rent Shelob costumes, you know

8. Urophiliac - The produit de kidneys - no French delicacy - is what she craves

9. Albutophiliac - Water sports, a tub bath, whatever it takes to get this gal wet, literally

10. Pyrophiliac - Fire it up to see this baby burn

11. Gynemimetophiliac - Lingerie/cross-dresser lover - try renting Priscilla, Queen Of The Desert

12. Siderodromophiliac - Trains - choo-choo - are her fancy. You can play the caboose.

13. Nanophiliac - Size isn't everything, but you know what they say about small men

14. Flatuphiliac - Air on her g-string

15. Mentaphiliac - Women's black underwear are her special fancy.

The other item from Stuff is a mock-up of Bill O'Reilly's desktop. Some real gems here - look closely.